My Heart Was On the Line

I didn't know how I felt about you, dear sir. I didn't know until just recently how attached to you I have become.
Your kindness was shown to me with no limits. And your generosity was laid on your sleeve at all times.
Your smile was easy to come and your words of encouragement and hope always upon my ear.
To what did I owe such love?
No, not love, but friendship.
Yet my eyes were clouded and my heart taking bigger and bigger parts of my 'liking' for you.
Yes, my heart was on the line.

Where did my rationality go when you walked into a room?
Why did my breathe leave me when you were my first sight?
Was this friendship meant to move forward? No.
For your departure is iminant and your love somewhere else, somewhere beautiful.
And yes, my heart was on the line.

Lord, set me right. Set me back on the path of friendship and take my heart off the line.
Help me to be the best possible friend I can to him, but nothing more until Your Word says otherwise.
Bless this friendship so that it may grow. Help us to become encouragers of each other into Your Word.
And let Your praise be on our lips at all times.

"You shall have no other gods before me."

  I was reading a book recently by Alistar Begg. The chapter that I was reading was covering the command, "You shall have no other gods before me." (Exodus 20:3) We see so often in the old testament that people were worshiping things like: bronze, gold, wood, and stone. These were what their "gods" were made out of, things from the earth. But something that we may not be so familiar with in today's day and age is that our personal "gods" that take precedence in our lives can be the very people that we find ourselves close with. It says in Luke 18:24-30:

  Jesus looked at him and said, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God! Indeed, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”
  Those who heard this asked, “Who then can be saved?”
  Jesus replied, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.”
  Peter said to him, “We have left all we had to follow you!”
  “Truly I tell you,” Jesus said to them, “no one who has left home or wife or brothers or sisters or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age, and in the age to come eternal life.”

  Our deepest concerns are for the people who are closest to us. Who doesn't honestly care about their parents? Or their children? Or their best friend?
  Now is our time to help encourage our loved ones that Jesus' loves them so much more than we ever could.

  "I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided." (1 Corinthians 7:32-34a)

  No matter what kind of relationship you're in right now. If you believe that Jesus is Savior, then please remember that He loves you more than anyone on this earth ever could. Don't let someone's opinion or status or love pull you away from your relationship with Christ. Because if you are, then that person that you're concerned about is the one you're idolizing. Remember, that He loves you deeply and that He is a jealous God. (Exodus 20:5)       ^_^ 

Dear Lord, (3/18/10)

                “Orders are given with the expectation they’ll be carried out.” This was a quote off of Gundam Seed Destiny by the leader of Blue Cosmos. Though I don’t agree with their views on war and peace, this quote got me thinking. An image that popped up on a different episode of the series was of Captain Gladys on break drinking coffee with the following image being of one of her ship’s soldiers (Shinn) sleeping. It just made me think that those people in positions of power have extremely hard jobs. They have to decide what the best course of action is to take. While, on the other hand, soldiers are given their orders and they don’t HAVE to think about the causes or reasons behind them, all they have to do is carry out their assigned orders. It’s those soldiers that do think about the reasons for their orders that get overwhelmed, frustrated, and grief-stricken. If one is following what is actually happening in a given battle compared to what is happening around the world at that time, they are setting themselves up for making a decision. They are no longer just a soldier that takes orders without question, but a living, thinking HUMAN BEING that understands the meaning of iba (compassion).

                Those of us who have never been on the battlefield (myself included) don’t usually take the time to look at the bigger picture. We say that compassion and mercy should be automatic instincts for a soldier, when in truth they are probably taught otherwise in training. We at home put ourselves in the role of overseer because we haven’t left our comfortable lifestyles. The kindness that one parent has tried to establish in their child’s life could have been lost by a command to be emotionless, but the parent doesn’t understand that.

                Lord, I don’t know if I’m making any sense. I see this playing out in my mind, but I’m having trouble putting into a series of understandable and well laid out ideas. Please, I’m not a soldier, so I don’t understand most of what soldiers actually do or think. I guess these are just some of my rambling thoughts that I wanted to share with You.

                If a soldier actually thought about why he/she was in battle, then what would he/she do? Would they go crazy by realizing that people (both enemies and allies) were being killed? Would they turn a blind eye and just say that this is what has to be done in order to obtain peace? Peace, a whole other story there…

                Your commander tells you to fight, then you fight. If they tell you to kill, then you kill. If they tell you to steal, then you steal. How much regret can any one person take upon their conscious before they go crazy? It may be easier for a soldier if they were just to follow orders to the T, because then they wouldn’t have to think about what’s behind those orders. But when even one person starts to open his/her mind onto what’s actually going on they could very well become emotionally distressed.

                Another quote from Gundam Seed Destiny, presented by a soldier (a faith member, a captain of sorts), “We’re in the middle of a war and we’re soldiers. If you forget, then you’ll die.” It’s true though, isn’t it? If you take your mind off of any battle for even a second, then your reaction time to defend yourself and your friends is lost and someone will end up dying.

                I could go on with this for quite a while longer. One last thing in regards to this, if none of the soldiers did what was commanded in the first place, then you’d have disorganization and probably a massacre. Lord, You know all of this. I’m not telling You because I feel You need to be reminded. It’s just that…it’s something that’s been on my mind and You seem to be the best person to share it with. I’m not totally sure that anyone else would actually understand why I wrote this up. I’m not in the military and I’m not planning to go fight a war any time soon. I just had to get my thoughts out somewhere…and to someone.

                After all, we’re supposed to be soldiers for You as Christians, aren’t we? What does that really mean?

Dear Heartbroken,

  I do want you to be happy. After reading what you've written...I'm sorry that you've ever had to go through so much pain. I want so badly to see you as the "hopeless romantic" you were. Please don't give up on true love. I've been praying for you about finding that someone whom you can be that hopeless romantic with. Believe me, you  are on my heart and not alone. I know the Lord is with you. You never have to be "the last to know" ever again.
  Please let me  be there for you if I can. I know that there are plenty of better people to talk to besides me...people who have been in the situations you find yourself in now, but if there's anything that I can do, I want to do it. I want to see you happy.
  You're on my heart and if ever I can be there for you I will. It won't matter if you're not here, you can be a few hundred miles away and still, I'll be there.
  The Lord's will is not our will, but His contains the true answer. You can never go wrong if your hope, trust, and faith is in Him. He will provide that special person for you. That person who is going to love you and take care of you. I trust in His guidance for your life.

A Letter To Our Lord (3/13/10)

  Just looking back now on what has happened in Gundam Seed Destiny...it's intriguing. I know that it's just a cartoon, but some of the stuff they say and present are actually things that can be picked up from today's world.
  The actions of one person are turned and blamed onto the whole. If the main leader of one nation makes a rotten decision, does that mean that every person underneath of him/her is to be condemned under the same action?
  Our whole lives are so prejudice. In my Languages and Societies class we've been learning about acents. We condemn (or look down on) some people just because of that. I know that I do. I don't like the way that I hear many big city blacks talk. They seem boisterous to me, but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't love them in You, Lord Jesus. To despise people for the little things makes us monsters. There was a time that I didn't realize that one of my friends had a lisp. If I hated him for something so small as that, then I'm sure we'd never be friends. But, he is one of the best friends anyone could ask for.
  So, why in war must we condemn everyone that (by chance) just lives in a certain country?

"Power is what everyone makes of it. Foolish are those who hope for it in excess. Yet equally foolish are those who resent it for no reason." ~ Attha

  The power to condemn...what about the power to love? Lacus' character said, "First decided and then just do it. It's the only way to achieve anything of real value in this world." God chose to still love us even after we condemned His son. "First decide and then just do it." He decided and He didn't back down. And it's amazing how this works, but I was just reading a book by Max Lucado, Just Like Jesus. In one of the chapters Max pointed out that Jesus really did have a decision between bearing the cross or not.
  Lord Jesus, as a lowly sinner, please help me not to despise and reject people based on who they live with, the clothes they wear, where they came from, etc. Help me instead to love them throught Your eyes. I have failed You many times. Help this time to stand out so much brighter than others.
  Perhaps if one person starts such a small ray of hope, then many more will follow? You started it for us. Jesus, let us follow You now.

Some of my Favorite Quotes

I found these online over the years, or have read them in books:

1) “Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot. Who calls you back when you hang up on him. Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead. Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. Who holds your hand in front of his friends. Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, ‘ ...that's her.’”

 2) “I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.”

3) “You can shed tears that she is gone, or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back, or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her, or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday, or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone, or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on." ~ David Harkins

4) “Love is when you shed a tear and still want him, it's when he ignores you and you still love him, it's when he loves another girl but you still smile and say I'm happy for you, when all you really do is cry.”

5) “I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you." ~ Roy Croft 

6) "If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain. If I can ease one life the aching, or cool one pain, or help one fainting robin unto his nest again, I shall  not live in vain."   ~ Emily Dickenson

7) "The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions, and not on our circumstances. We carry the seeds of the one or the other about with us in our minds wherever we go."   ~ Martha Washington

8) “Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.” ~ Mother Teresa

Getting Started

I'm really excited to be getting started with this new blog. I've never had one before, but I really think that this will help me to interact with people more and maybe even learn a few things.   ; )
I've always like to write too. When I was in my Creative Writing class back in high school I never really had a problem writing out the stories or coming up with new ideas for them. Even in my computer class, there was one time that my teacher assigned an assignment for something special, but for certain reasons I asked him if I could get out of that project. So, he said fine and told me to write a short story instead. He apparently didn't think that like 7 pages was "short."  Hahaha...
I'll see if I can find anything to post from my past soon, just to get this thing kicked off.