Bapa,
There is nothing I can do. I know that. My hope lies in knowing that you can.
How much You hurt, Bapa. How hard it is for You to see one of Your children walking without You, walking away from You, ignoring You. A broken heart is putting it mildly. How do You handle the pain that we as sinners cause You? My mind cannot wrap around the fact that You are not like us. You hurt more deeply than we will ever know. You love more fully than we ever can.
I hurt for him. Practical, he's too practical. No, perhaps not. You wired his mind to work the way it does. You knew exactly what You were doing. You know what makes him tick because You formed him. You know how best to love him because You know his heart. Please bring someone into his life that he connects with, but let it be someone that knows You intimately. Give him over to falling madly in love with someone who shines for You brightly. Let his heart see her and know. And prepare her heart to stand fast in You. Please, please Bapa. I can't take seeing him like this. I can't take knowing what his attitude is towards church and You. This burden is real. I ask for strength to be constant in my affections towards this young man. I ask for the burden to run deeper as long as You are at my side. I ask that You would imprint him on my heart for the purpose of consistently coming to You on his behalf.
I know You haven't forgotten about him. You love him too much for that. Bring him back to You.
~Alexandra
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Weaknesses
People have told me that they want to be more like me. Others have said that they feel they will never measure up to me on a spiritual level. I'm here to tell you some of the weakness in me that people either don't know about or choose to overlook.
1) I have trust issues.
There are very few people in my life who I trust where they're at spiritually. The people I do trust are the ones who have proven themselves trustworthy even if they didn't realize that's what they were doing. This lack of trust comes mostly from my past. When I was a child my mother would often say that we were going to go to the park, or "Today we'll clean the house," very rarely did anything that she said ever actually happen. Through this I have learned to be wary about what people say. The Lord can overcome this wariness though! A dear friend told me recently to look at what is genuine about a person and not to focus on the negatives.
2) I have a pride issue.
This is something that I have only recently been given notice of through the Lord's blessing. I reject the help of people who both have the means to help and are willing to. This comes also from my past. My father is a very independent individual and not one to ask for help from others. Even to accept help from another person is seen as lowering himself, sometimes to the point of disgrace. I've grown up with being told that you don't get into debt and you don't ask for help, you need to make your own way in the world and be able to support yourself and your loved ones. The Lord is the One who has shown me this ever-present pride and the One who can overthrow it. To Him be the glory and may my pride be thrown into the pit.
3) I don't have compassion to meet people where they're at mentally, spiritually, and emotionally in certain areas of life.
This comes out most in areas of guy/girl relationships. I get highly annoyed by the subject being brought up a lot because I often see it come out in light of personal desire instead of God-given desire. This is something that the Lord continues to work with me on overcoming. Through His compassion (and not my own) I will one day be able to meet people where they're at (especially in regards to their faith) and offer compassion and Biblical advice through His Spirit. (Philippians 3:7-11)
2 Corinthians11:30 "If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness."
To GOD be the glory! For if you see these issues being weeded out in my life in the future, then He is the one who is doing the weeding.
1) I have trust issues.
There are very few people in my life who I trust where they're at spiritually. The people I do trust are the ones who have proven themselves trustworthy even if they didn't realize that's what they were doing. This lack of trust comes mostly from my past. When I was a child my mother would often say that we were going to go to the park, or "Today we'll clean the house," very rarely did anything that she said ever actually happen. Through this I have learned to be wary about what people say. The Lord can overcome this wariness though! A dear friend told me recently to look at what is genuine about a person and not to focus on the negatives.
2) I have a pride issue.
This is something that I have only recently been given notice of through the Lord's blessing. I reject the help of people who both have the means to help and are willing to. This comes also from my past. My father is a very independent individual and not one to ask for help from others. Even to accept help from another person is seen as lowering himself, sometimes to the point of disgrace. I've grown up with being told that you don't get into debt and you don't ask for help, you need to make your own way in the world and be able to support yourself and your loved ones. The Lord is the One who has shown me this ever-present pride and the One who can overthrow it. To Him be the glory and may my pride be thrown into the pit.
3) I don't have compassion to meet people where they're at mentally, spiritually, and emotionally in certain areas of life.
This comes out most in areas of guy/girl relationships. I get highly annoyed by the subject being brought up a lot because I often see it come out in light of personal desire instead of God-given desire. This is something that the Lord continues to work with me on overcoming. Through His compassion (and not my own) I will one day be able to meet people where they're at (especially in regards to their faith) and offer compassion and Biblical advice through His Spirit. (Philippians 3:7-11)
2 Corinthians11:30 "If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness."
To GOD be the glory! For if you see these issues being weeded out in my life in the future, then He is the one who is doing the weeding.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
A Mind Fixed on Jesus
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things." Philippians 4:4-8
There is much that has stuck out to me recently regarding this chapter, for the Lord is good!
1) Our minds should be fixed on Jesus.
2) It is God and Him alone that embodies all these qualities listed.
3) When we are truly seeking His will, He is the one to bring peace.
Jesus is our cornerstone. Ephesians 2:19b-20 says, "[you are] members of God's household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone." It also says in 1 Corinthians 3:11, "For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ." It goes on to say in this same chapter, "Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you?" Because He is our everything, this is where our minds and hearts need to be!!! We are His temple and where does the temple lay?... on the cornerstone. Can I make this any more plain?
The things that are listed above, these qualities, these traits, these attributes...the one who embodies ALL of these is God. If these are the things that we should be thinking on, then it makes sense that He is who we should be thinking about. Please remember, we can never exhaust Him because our minds can never completely wrap around who He is.
One thing to leave you with. We are human, we will fail, we will still sin. However, God is bigger than all our sin. 1 John 4:4 "You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." It is when we are devoted to Him, seeking Him, surrendering ourselves over to Him that He brings peace. A peace that truly surpasses understanding! He has done this recently for me in my life. I do keep sinning against Him, but He loves it when I come back to Him and keep pushing through the darkness to find Him. "Abba, Father, Bapa...please help me."
There is much that has stuck out to me recently regarding this chapter, for the Lord is good!
1) Our minds should be fixed on Jesus.
2) It is God and Him alone that embodies all these qualities listed.
3) When we are truly seeking His will, He is the one to bring peace.
Jesus is our cornerstone. Ephesians 2:19b-20 says, "[you are] members of God's household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone." It also says in 1 Corinthians 3:11, "For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ." It goes on to say in this same chapter, "Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you?" Because He is our everything, this is where our minds and hearts need to be!!! We are His temple and where does the temple lay?... on the cornerstone. Can I make this any more plain?
The things that are listed above, these qualities, these traits, these attributes...the one who embodies ALL of these is God. If these are the things that we should be thinking on, then it makes sense that He is who we should be thinking about. Please remember, we can never exhaust Him because our minds can never completely wrap around who He is.
One thing to leave you with. We are human, we will fail, we will still sin. However, God is bigger than all our sin. 1 John 4:4 "You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." It is when we are devoted to Him, seeking Him, surrendering ourselves over to Him that He brings peace. A peace that truly surpasses understanding! He has done this recently for me in my life. I do keep sinning against Him, but He loves it when I come back to Him and keep pushing through the darkness to find Him. "Abba, Father, Bapa...please help me."
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