Bapa,
I've made it so easy to push guys into the "friendship" category. I fear that sometimes I give You no room to work in my heart because my heart has been filled up with my own notions of how things should go. I feel that I'm trying to write my own earthly love story instead of letting You write it for me. It's so much easier for me to say, "Let's be brother and sister," instead of seeing the man for who he is in You. Please, You know my heart and You know very well how much You have blessed me. You have given me some amazing brothers in You! They are full of conviction and responsibility and humility. They are seeking You with their whole heart and I love You for providing them in my life! What a Father You are! You have protected and blessed me beyond reason or comprehension. But what of this issue on my heart? I know full well that part of me pushes them into this category simply because I don't trust people and I'm scared. These brothers of mine are the young men that I trust. They have proven themselves and it hasn't been me asking them to, it's just been in their character and actions. Fear has pushed me to do much. My hope rests in You though. Show me how to react to young men. Show me how to not push them away. Show me how to embrace a relationship. Please do it quickly. That's what's on my heart right now. I'm asking for a specific and I know You love hearing the specifics. Show me how to embrace a relationship and do it quickly.
Love, Alexandra
